Sunday, June 8, 2008

lost in thoughts















The days at cop Comanche leave a lot of time to think about the coming days and years. A lot of us here have been questioning the things that we want to do with the rest of our lives and careers. Its started to play a lot in my head as well. Where do I go from here? There’s a few options for me and each one seems great but I just don’t know which way I want to go. I had a conversation with my best friend Christie not too long ago about similar problems while facing decisions in the pathways of life. I think she said It best. When there are so many different ways that you can go I wish someone would just choose for me. I have 2 years left in my contract with the army. My dream has always been to become an 18delta or special forces medic. That has been my aspiration since day one but there’s so many factors that play into the special forces career. If I work my ass off and am selected then that will be my career until I retire. I know I wouldn’t want to do anything else. it’s a lot of work but that’s not what makes me apprehensive in the matter. I know that if I put my mind to something I wont fail. But it also means that I wont be able to have a stable life for quite some time. The operational tempo is on the higher end. Having that “special someone” is pretty much out of the question. I would want to focus on everything that I needed to learn. I’m already missing my friends and family a lot. I don’t know if I want to commit my life to the army just yet. I’m only 23 years old. I got a lot ahead of me. Then there’s the opportunity of becoming a flight medic for a medivac helicopter. Its something that has interested me ever since I saw mercy air (flight medics) land at a car crash we responded to. It fascinates me. Every time I see a helicopter in the sky I act like some damn 6 year old at an air show. The opportunity that I could work as a civilian on a medivac bird after I got out of the military is very high. And they make very good money. Or there’s the option of getting out and going to paramedic school with my G.I. bill money. And continuing with the firefighter/paramedic route. I’m already a certified firefighter. And with 4 years as infantry line medic with wartime experience counts for something. But with such a competitive job market who knows what that counts for anymore. Being hired on as a firefighter/paramedic has been a goal of mine since I was young. My only problem is feeling accomplished in everything I complete. I’ve worked my ass off for the things that I have to show. I’m proud of all I’ve accomplished but I never feel like its enough. I never truly feel accomplished. I’m always looking forward and looking for the next challenge








but oh well heres some more pics for your enjoyment...my new gear come in the other day and i got my bedding finally...I have a pillow! whoot! no more sleeping on my laundry bag


today i mounted a bayonet on my rifle haha completely pointless but it still looks cool ahhaa

8 comments:

CarlsbadJanet said...

It was so good to hear your voice this morning! It was a wonderful way to wake up!
The sheets and pillow arrived quickly....one week...not bad. Grandpa would be happy to see his sheets and pillow put to excellent use. Glad you enjoyed the Monsters, and they didn't explode in transit....I will send more soon!
Love the pics....Love You!!
Kisses....
Mom

KurtMartiNick said...

You need a "soul patch" with that moose stash

KurtMartiNick said...

The Camo is all wrong for your bed. I would go with a light beige with desert highlights.STUNNING! Marti wants to know who's the chick on your plastered wall. Has a black dress and blonde. Life is good in the USA. The Limo picks me up every morning. I light my cigars (Cuban) with a $100 bill. Then go to work saying over and over "Welcome to Wal-Mart"

KurtMartiNick said...

mounting a bayonet has to be very very painful. Hey! Watch it,that hurts. Had to turn on the AC. It's 88 degrees here. Is it hot where you are at? 2 years to go??????????? OH F'ing MY. Better things lay ahead.

piratelikesoatml said...

You'll figure it out. Atleast you have so many options and many options that you know you would enjoy. I'm clueless. :[
Love you.

And yayyyyyy sadr puppies

heyydoyouworkout said...

Go with what your heart is telling you to do. Youre friends and family are always going to be here for you and we will support you in whatever you want to do with your life even if it is being away from us even longer. we want you to be happy in life and do great things. i remember when you called me when you were in germany and you were talking to me about the special forces and you seemed so passionate about it. youre so ambitious and i admire you for that. i have no motivation what so ever right now in life..im so jealous of you hahaha. like i told you the other day im working on this secret project for you right now and hopefully i can get it done tonight and in the mail tomorrow. i cant wait for you to see it. yayyyyy. its super secret though so dont think youre gonna crack me. hahaha even though i hate keeping secrets...this is worth it. :) as always i love you eric and hope to hear from you soon! xoxo kathryn

Mike & Steph said...

I don't think we are meant to feel completely accomlished in life. When we feel like we have to work for something it gives you something to live for and to look forward to. That is why it is good to always have goals. So you can recognize when you accomplish something and be proud of yourself but then you can have more goals so that you always have something to work towards and to look forward to! I don't know if I am making any sense but Eric, you have accomplished a lot so far and I know you will continue to make us all proud and accomplish many more great things!

Bart's mom said...

This is Bart's mom. I am missing my son so much and I can't believe I will never hear his voice again.If anyone has anything to share about experiences with him please send me an email. Thanks for all ya'll are doing for your country.Bart loved you guys like brothers. God Bless you all. my email ncsunshine27203@yahoo.com
Darlene