lost in thoughts

The days at cop Comanche leave a lot of time to think about the coming days and years. A lot of us here have been questioning the things that we want to do with the rest of our lives and careers. Its started to play a lot in my head as well. Where do I go from here? There’s a few options for me and each one seems great but I just don’t know which way I want to go. I had a conversation with my best friend Christie not too long ago about similar problems while facing decisions in the pathways of life. I think she said It best. When there are so many different ways that you can go I wish someone would just choose for me. I have 2 years left in my contract with the army. My dream has always been to become an 18delta or special forces medic. That has been my aspiration since day one but there’s so many factors that play into the special forces career. If I work my ass off and am selected then that will be my career until I retire. I know I wouldn’t want to do anything else. it’s a lot of work but that’s not what makes me apprehensive in the matter. I know that if I put my mind to something I wont fail. But it also means that I wont be able to have a stable life for quite some time. The operational tempo is on the higher end. Having that “special someone” is pretty much out of the question. I would want to focus on everything that I needed to learn. I’m already missing my friends and family a lot. I don’t know if I want to commit my life to the army just yet. I’m only 23 years old. I got a lot ahead of me. Then there’s the opportunity of becoming a flight medic for a medivac helicopter. Its something that has interested me ever since I saw mercy air (flight medics) land at a car crash we responded to. It fascinates me. Every time I see a helicopter in the sky I act like some damn 6 year old at an air show. The opportunity that I could work as a civilian on a medivac bird after I got out of the military is very high. And they make very good money. Or there’s the option of getting out and going to paramedic school with my G.I. bill money. And continuing with the firefighter/paramedic route. I’m already a certified firefighter. And with 4 years as infantry line medic with wartime experience counts for something. But with such a competitive job market who knows what that counts for anymore. Being hired on as a firefighter/paramedic has been a goal of mine since I was young. My only problem is feeling accomplished in everything I complete. I’ve worked my ass off for the things that I have to show. I’m proud of all I’ve accomplished but I never feel like its enough. I never truly feel accomplished. I’m always looking forward and looking for the next challenge

but oh well heres some more pics for your enjoyment...my new gear come in the other day and i got my bedding finally...I have a pillow! whoot! no more sleeping on my laundry bag

today i mounted a bayonet on my rifle haha completely pointless but it still looks cool ahhaa